🚨 BREAKING NEWS 🚨

THE ANIKOTO DAILY BAGEL | SEASON 3: VOL. Error👾

Blasting multiversal nonsense so you don't have to

LOCAL FIGHTER SPENDS THREE EPISODES TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHETHER MYSTERIOUS STRANGER IS A GIRL, A GUY, OR AN ENTIRELY NEW SPECIES

ANIME CITY - A local fighter has supposedly spent the last three episodes trying to figure out who the mysterious stranger who appeared during a routine mission is.

What started as a simple "Is that a girl or a guy?" has turned into a full scale biological investigation when the mysterious stranger casually revealed that none of the answers were correct.

Witnesses say that the confusion started when the local fighter first saw the mysterious stranger wearing an oversized hoodie, long hair, and a face that displayed nothing.

"I thought she was a girl," the local fighter said.

"Then someone told me it was a guy."

"Then they told me it was a femboy."

"Then the person themselves said they weren't sure."

At that point the local fighter supposedly stopped asking questions.

Unfortunately, the mysterious stranger revealed that their species didn't follow conventional human biology.

Scientists were called in.

The scientists left

They supposedly needed scientists of their own.

MULTIVERSAL INCIDENTS TODAY:

BIOLOGICAL CONFUSION: Researchers have confirmed that the mysterious stranger is biologically classified as "complicated", a classification that didn't exist before.

FEMBOY FALSE ALARM: The stranger was once identified as a femboy only for the researchers to find out that somehow it raised more questions than it answered.

IDENTITY INVESTIGATION: The local fighter has made a 47 page investigation board containing photographs, witness statements, species charts, and one desperate question mark.

ROMANTIC COMPLICATIONS: Several people have supposedly developed feelings for the stranger whilst being completely unaware what they're actually dealing with.

POWER SYSTEM FAILURE: Attempts to identify the stranger using magical detection abilities have given the message 'Gender: Yes.'

UPDATE📣

The Intergalactic Federation has officially stepped in due to the situation starting to cause diplomatic complications.

Officials have ordered the stranger to select one of three classifications:

MALE

FEMALE

OTHER

The stranger supposedly looked at the form for five seconds and wrote:

"Why not all three?"

The Federation has suspended the questionnaire.

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🔥 SITE UPDATE: CULT WARFARE ENTERS THE GENDER CONFUSION ARC 🔥

The Anikoto Cult Wars have supposedly entered their most confusing phase yet.

The Chibi Chomp Cult (CCC) has set up a temporary Gender Research Division to investigate the stranger, although sources say most of the department is currently arguing over the definition of "femboy."

Funky Town has refused to partake in the investigation, saying "If they're cool, they're cool."

Meanwhile, Golden Dawn has offered the stranger diplomatic protection after concluding that nobody else understands what is happening either.

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📜 WANTED POSTER SPONSOR: @RyugaAckermen

TARGET: @ArloAtlas


THE CRIME: This guy appeared out of nowhere and completely confused everyone about what he actually is. Some say he's a girl, some say he's a guy, others think he's an entirely new species. He refuses to clarify and has already caused multiple people to question their understanding of biology. Last seen casually walking around Anikoto whilst everyone else was having an existential crisis trying to identify him. Please find him before he causes another three-episode identity investigation.

REWARD: Undisclosed Mana & Answers to Absolutely Nothing And Maybe Your Own Personal Lore If The Sponsor Is Pleased By Your Work

THE BAGEL'S VERDICT: An official Interdimensional Identity Investigation Warrant has been issued for @ArloAtlas! The Onion investigative team suspects he is currently hiding in plain sight likely disguised as a perfectly ordinary Anikoto user while deliberately maintaining maximum gender ambiguity.

If you see anyone who somehow looks like a girl, dresses like a guy, gives off femboy energy, and may or may not be an entirely undiscovered species, DO NOT APPROACH.

Instead, immediately report their location to @RyugaAckermen before the situation escalates into another three-episode arc.

📌 THE BAGEL NOTICE BOARD (VOL. Error👾)

The Notice Board is open!

Have a rival who needs a bounty? A cursed anime situation that needs investigating? Or perhaps you've encountered a character whose gender is somehow more complicated than their entire backstory?

Send it our way.

📜 1. WANTED POSTERS / BOUNTIES: Target a user, rival cult, anime character, or cursed take.

📢 2. SPONSORSHIPS & SHAMELESS PLUGS: Promote your latest post, artwork, tournament, story, or faction.

🤝 3. WEIRD CLASSIFIEDS: Selling used plot armor? Hiring detectives? Looking for someone capable of identifying a mysterious anime character?

Drop your submissions below for Vol. Error👾!

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(P.S, normally it is Arlo who does the news but you know what, I felt like doing it today so I decided to just come in and steal the show today. What is Arlo going to do about it? Nothing! Because it is ME after all so bro just has to just deal with it and let me have my moment. Nothing personal Arlo, it's all love. LMAOOO. Anyway, enjoy the news segment brought to you by none other than yours truly. Sit back, relax and let the madness begin! 😂)

(Form Onion🧅 To Bagel🥯)