🎯 BREAKING SPORTS NEWS

Season 1 • Vol. 7 | ANIKOTO MULTIVERSE OLYMPICS
Different worlds. Questionable motives. No competent organizers.

KING WINS SHOOTING CHAMPIONSHIP WITHOUT FIRING A SHOT; KORO-SENSEI ACCUSED OF BEING TOO FAST TO JUDGE

The Multiverse Shooting Championship was meant to test skill, calm nerves, and steady hands.
The organizers gathered together Usopp, King, Megumi Fushiguro, Reigen Arataka, and Koro-sensei and expected a normal competition.

They were disappointed almost immediately.

Usopp landed an impressive shot with his trusty slingshot and spent the next five minutes explaining why his hands were shaking because he was deliberately limiting his power.

Megumi demonstrated excellent tactical awareness. The judges immediately banned his shikigami from fetching targets. He was one bad decision away from summoning Mahoraga to dispute the ruling.

Reigen confidently announced that his spiritual training had perfected his aim. He adjusted his stance, offered the judges a discounted exorcism package and somehow sold three memberships before the next round started.

Then Koro-sensei took his turn.

The yellow octopus Sensei calmly spoke about the importance of concentration, discipline, and proper shooting technique. He went on to hit every target before the judges had finished announcing its position.

The judges accused him of cheating. Koro-sensei had already graded their complaints and returned them with corrections.

And then King stepped forward.

His heartbeat echoed through the arena. The spectators fell silent. Even the judges began to sweat.

Inside he was having the worst day of his life. He had absolutely no idea how to shoot. Had no intention of finding out nor did he want anyone to notice.

He raised his weapon with trembling hands.

CLICK

The gun wasn't loaded.

The opposing finalists immediately surrendered.

King nearly fainted with relief but maintained his terrifying expression.

Nobody questioned the result. Nobody wanted to be the person who asked King to reload.

🎙️ LIVE COMMENTARY

Commentator 1: "KORO-SENSEI HAS HIT EVERY TARGET!"

Commentator 2: "THE TARGETS HAVEN'T EVEN BEEN SET UP YET!"

Commentator 1: "USOPP IS CLAIMING HIS SLINGSHOT IS HAUNTED!"

Commentator 2: "IT'S HIS OWN REFLECTION IN THE POLISHED FRAME!"

Commentator 1: "KING HASN'T FIRED A SHOT!"

Commentator 2: "HE DOESN'T NEED TO! LOOK AT THE OPPONENTS!"

Just as security began escorting Reigen away from the judges' table an unexpected musical performance began.

Kessoku Band had arrived!!

Bocchi, Nijika, Ryo and Kita took the stage to play for the crowd. Nijika kept the rhythm, Ryo looked like she was calculating her payment and Kita had enough energy to revive the entire stadium.

Bocchi noticed King standing nearby the stage.
She froze.........

King's heartbeat grew louder.

Bocchi's nervous guitar performance somehow became the most intense rock solo of the year. The crowd erupted thinking they were witnessing a revolutionary new musical style.

Koro-sensei moved around the stage at Mach 20 setting up microphones and adjusting the sound equipment before anyone could blink.

Unfortunately the competition rules explicitly prohibited contestants from receiving outside assistance or modifying the equipment during an active round. Koro-sensei had unknowingly violated both regulations in his attempt to help.

Bocchi received a standing ovation. Koro-sensei received a formal disqualification notice.

🏅 OFFICIAL RESULTS

🥇 KING - Gold. Won through intimidation and hadn't fired a shot. Has declined all interviews.

🥈 USOPP - Silver. Impressive slingshot accuracy, questionable excuses and plenty of self-promotion. Has enough content for an entire newspaper.

🥉 MEGUMI FUSHIGURO - Bronze. Technically gifted, but his shikigami violated competition rules.

Special rulings: Koro-sensei is prohibited from touching competition equipment during active rounds. Usopp must stop blaming his slingshot for his own mistakes. Megumi's shikigami are banned from the shooting range.

King has been exempted from all future competitions. The organizers refer to it as a safety measure.

⚔️ OTHER OLYMPIC DEVELOPMENTS

• Sung Jinwoo entered the relay race with his shadow army. The other teams have filed a complaint about the definition of one athlete.

• Buggy entered the darts competition. His supporters insist that every missed shot was part of a master plan.

• Aizen volunteered to supervise the results. The scoreboard now displays three different winners and nobody remembers who installed it.

📋 THE BAGEL NOTICE BOARD

👑 ONGOING POPULARITY POLL: @DarkDevilSensei is hosting the popularity poll and voting is underway! Head over, cast your votes and support your favourites.

🎯 WANTED: A marksman capable of defeating King. Must have nerves of steel and no survival instinct.

🎂 BIRTHDAY ANNOUNCEMENT: Happy Birthday To @Jellyf1shrcute,May you have a wonderful day full of joyous moments today.

🤝 CULT CORNER: The CCC wants its own shooting team. Golden Dawn has demanded an investigation into King's victory meanwhile Funky Town has nominated Buggy as its champion and is getting funky.

King has declined to comment. The other teams have withdrawn their complaints.

🥯 QUOTE OF THE DAY

"You don't need to hit the target when your opponent is too terrified to stand still."

- The Anikoto Daily Bagel Sports Committee

📬 HELP SHAPE THE NEXT VOLUME!

Got a ridiculous matchup, an impossible sporting event or anime characters who shouldn't be allowed near the same arena?

Drop your headtopics, matchups, tournament ideas and multiverse disasters in the comments!

🥯 Your idea. Our questionable journalism. One very confused multiverse.

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(P.S. Shout-out to @MadFury for keeping the anime news scene alive with actual updates and to @ArloAtlas for providing an endless supply of material. The Bagel continues to dominate the sports news scene. Different games, same bread.)

THE ANIKOTO DAILY BAGEL

Season 1 is officially over, we hope to see you again when we return with our Season 2 and even more absurd events