January- You can become invisible but only when you close your eyes
February- You get to communicate with an animal for 7 seconds but you must first do the taxonomic classifications of that animal. However that animal wont understand you unless you are doing a handstand
March-You can make any vehicle travel 1.356× faster, but only during the final 5 seconds before reaching your destination.
April-You can teleport exactly 2 centimeters to the left once per day.
May- You can always find the cold side of the pillow, but only after you've already fallen asleep.
June- Every time you get slapped, all nearby grocery stores within a 2km radius in your area lower the price of every food item for you by 0.9738% for 10 minutes
July- You can make any mosquito within 5 meters forget where you are, but only for 2 seconds.
August-You can tell exactly when someone is about to sneeze but only 0.2 seconds before it happens. September- Every time someone drops their phone you know whether it will land face-up or face-down but only after it lands.
October- You can instantly know the exact number of stairs in any building, but only after you've climbed them.
November- Every time you open the refrigerator, the light stays on for exactly 4 seconds after you close it.
December- Whenever you eat a Cuban sandwich, you know the exact number of raindrops that will fall within the perimeter of your house the next time it rains.

So which useless ability did you get